LOVE is YOU....

What is love...really, what is it?  Tell me. 

I have read a bunch blogs on my reader today: tons of Valentine's Day gift ideas, quotes about love,bloggers crying over their keyboards wishing they had someone special to share this silly day with.  Some wondering if he will ever put a ring on it, and others wondering how much a of refund you can get for calling off your wedding.  This got me  thinking all about this Valentine's Day phenomenon...

You see, sorry to toot my own horn, but I think most of you have got it wrong.  This day is not just about being with Mr. Prince Charming and living happily ever after--yeah that is part of love-but not all of love.

From Miss Carrie Bradshaw herself, "“But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

Love yourself. That is my message for this Valentine's Day.  Once you have done that, the rest of the world with fall in love with your smile.

I thought I would share with you some of what love is in my little mind (with pictures)

Love is watching my baby boy on the beach for the first time.

Love is holding my baby as he sleeps the first week I brought him home and still managing to take this picture of the two of us.

Love is watching this little baby turn into a little boy. Love is his smile, his laughter, his love...his everything.  Love is having a child and finally realizing how much my parents love me.

Love is having awesome friends who are willing to take silly picture at your wedding (and have the coolest wedding photographer in the world http://volkelimage.com/

Love is these girls and so many others.  Including my best friend Sara-we have the type of friendship that you would think you could only find on the big screen. I love her to Chuy and back and if that is not love, I am not sure what is.

Love is him.  "You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true~~~~At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away."

Love is that face.

And puppy kisses from my sweet puppy

And holding a baby for the first time

And being alone on the beach realizing even more how much I love this life

And looking this this picture of me on my parents porch years ago and realizing I hadn't a clue about love in that picture.  Right there I thought it was only about finding that happily ever after with HIM.  Now, I know that the happily ever after starts with me (you) and then the rest falls into place...

Top photos are from weheartit, wedding photos by Volkel Image, the other pics are mine!

Giveaway....Perpetual Kid!

This Blonde and her blog have teamed up with http://www.perpetualkid.com/ for this fun giveaway.  I personally think that there are far too many adults who have forgotten how to have fun.  This company is ALL about entertaining your inner child!  Here are just a few of some of their great items!

(I have the Don't Kill the Kids babysitter pad and the babysitters always get a good laugh and have all of the important safety information they needl.  Johnny also has the Super Baby Snapsuit and I am SO going to be getting the Love is Blonde perfume with my giftcard!)

Sounds like fun huh?

To Enter to win a $25 dollar giftcard...

1~MANDATORY Head on over to http://www.perpetualkid.com/ and comment telling us what you would get with your gift certificate! (1 entry)

Additional entries:

2~Follow my blog (1entry)
3~Follow A Blonde Walks Into A Blog on Twitter (1 entries)
4~Follow Perpetual Kid on Twitter (1 entries)
5~Tweet about this giveaway (may tweet up to 2 times a day) comment below that you tweeted (1 entry)
6~Follow A Blonde Walks Into A Blog on facebook (3 entries)
7~Follow Perpetual Kid on facebook (3 entries)
8~Blog about this giveaway (5 entries

Whew! There are a lot of different ways to win! Giveaway ends 2/23

Getting To Know You Sundays with Keely

Come play with Keely and the rest of us this Sunday!





1. How many piercing's do you have? Six, I think?  I have my belly button ring and then my ears.  In colleg, I thought it would be a great idea to get a string of diamonds all the way up my ear.  I am not sure if they have closed up or not?

2. I love the sound of.....?  My sons laughter...

3. Favorite city? I do not really have a favorite city

4. Colts, Saints, or could care less? My son and I are all decked out in our Broncos gear...I am one of the biggest Bronco fans you will ever meet.  So excuse me, while I pretend they are winning the Super Bowl today.

5. Frozen yogurt or ice cream? Cookie Dough Dino Mo

6. Favorite appetizer? Mozzarella sticks dipped in ranch or Bang Bang Shrimp!

7. What item in your closet currently makes you the happiest? Well, PEOPLE not things make me happy-but if I had to pick something it would be my Steve Madden black booties

8.Favorite facial moisturizer?  Um, I do not have one.  It takes me about 1O minutes to put this face on in the morning...but if anyone wants to suggest one that would be just lovely.

We have a winner!!!

Someone is about to be shaking her booty, and dancing like no one is watching with her new itunes gift card!

The girl with flour in her hair from http://peelinganorangewithascrewdriver.blogspot.com/

You all should go by and check out her blog-it is a wonderful!

Extraordinary Minds...

Happy Friday everyone!  I am totally overwhelmed by the comments, emails, texts and phone calls that I got from YOU all from my last post.  YOUR WORDS, MY WORDS...all of these WORDS are the reason I blog...

Why do you blog?

Images from weheartit

My brother's suicide

I have been blogging a lot about the death of my brother lately and I suppose that is because he has been on my mind so much lately. I figured I would write this now…so it would not feel so consuming, just to let it out…and let a little more of him go.

They asked how it happened they asked how I found out. It a dark and overcast day, I had woken up late and had gotten call from my parents. I was talking my head off explain all these new things that Johhny had been doing and the news that my MRI results were good. My father asked John to get on the other line, I was slightly excited because this must mean that they had something good to share. I wanted him to just spit it out and tell me. I was standing in our family room smiling at the baby. My dad started to speak and I looked into my husband’s eyes….they looked different, unlike anything I had ever seen. Suddenly words were pouring out of my father’s mouth and into the phone….

“Brandon is dead. He shot himself.”

My entire world shattered. No words came out, I just screamed….the sound of my voice seemed to mimic the way my body felt just falling apart beneath me. I dropped the phone and could hear him talking but I just sat there. I never understood why people dropped the phones in movies, until I did it. There was no conceivable way that my fingers could grasp the phone let alone anything else. Violently shaking, my heart was beating a million miles, my heart breaking, my eyes swelled with tears and I was gone. My eyes flowed like broken faucets, my entire body felt pain. I wanted to reach through the phone and embrace my parents in the hardest hug imaginable but suddenly we felt so far away.

I immediately had John run off to my doctors office. My heart has a hard time when things are clam, let alone when you get some of the worst news of your life and I knew I would need help. I don’t remember much of the conversation I had with my parents. I could not stand to hear my fathers voice breaking up and I could picture my mom on the other end of the phone just broken into a million pieces.

When we were younger my brother had this bird that meant the world to him. That rainbow colored little birdie was always with him, like two pals. He was always laughing, joking and teaching that little stinker to attack his big sister (good times, let me tell you). One day the bird died, this was the day that my brother changed. He always felt responsible for its death. I remember seeing tears stream down his little face and he went to take a shower. To drown his tears in the pouring water and he stayed in there until he was water logged from head to toe. He never got another bird, but I knew he still loved them and would always miss his little friend.

I somehow managed to stumble up the stairs. I ripped off my clothing and crawled in the bathtub and turned on the shower. I curled up and froze from pain that was so raw I felt as though my heart was cracking. I stayed in the shower most of the week, just crying. All I could do was cry. Why? It was all I could keep asking myself. I do not have any idea how many countless times I screamed that out to myself.

I am doing better. I am learning to let go, to really let go. But, like right now as I write this I regress. I am in shock. Is my brother really gone? My brother is dead. Oh my gosh, did this really happen? Then it hits me all over again like a ton of bricks. Like I had totally forgotten that it happened. I am so conflicted with everything. All the things that people say to me. He is no longer suffering. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. When someone kills themselves they do not take away the pain, they just transfer it to the ones that are left behind. You should believe that everyone has the same right to live as they do to die. Suicide is preventable. It was not your fault. Sometimes the pain it takes to go is less than the pain it takes to stay. You are selfish for wanting him to life a life he did not want to be in. Why couldn’t you save him?

Yes, why couldn’t I save him?

I could not. No one could. You don’t understand, they don’t understand. I do, but you never will. This is so complicated, his life was so complex. The way he view the world and life…he just wanted to die. We learned so much AFTER he did. The internet is a vast world, but it does not get erased when you go. I just need to keep the majority of what I know about that to myself for his privacy and my families.

I pass by the location where he took his life frequently….that is the hardest part for me. Once in awhile, I will pass it without realizing it and then feel that lump in my throat. But, most days, I am aware…too aware. I wish it would just disappear, but I know even when I look the other way or close my eyes that it is very much still there. That place, that room, those walls…he was there. Alone. My problem is that whenever I hear his name I picture IT…I picture him, his hands, his face, that gun. I cannot get it out of my mind no matter how hard I try. And. I. Try. Usually my mind is racing like I am a small child again looking out of a car moving a million miles a minute. The scenery is his life, my life, our life all combined into one mixed until it is broken by that gun shot in my mind. Me loving life with every ounce of my being and willing to do anything in the world to fight for another day. Him wanting more than anything to find a way out. My brother. His sister.

I will do my best every year to put on a happy face on Easter. I will color eggs and hide them for my son, and I will put on a façade because I will need to do that for my son that day…but it will be hard. I am sure at the end of the day, I will hop out of the bunny costume and sit in that shower. But, I know darn well the next day, I will need to brush myself off and pull myself together, for I have a life to live. A darn good one. I miss him every single day, but I am doing better. Not today, but most days.

Belle Baby Carrier Review and Giveaway!

I frequently have pregnant friends frantically asking me what to buy for when their baby comes.  With a zillion products out there how do you know what to buy?  One of the products that I think is a TOTAL must have, is a baby carrier. I recently received the Sky Belle Baby Carrier to review, and I barely had the package open before I fell in love.  As soon as I opened it, Johnny touches it, looks up at me and says, "Oh, pritty soft mama!"  See, even my baby fell in love with it immediately.  I have to admit, I own a lot different carriers and none of carriers comes close to this amazing product.  Let's talk about the highlights shall we?

*First of all, it is very easy to use. You are a mom, everything is hard enough-this baby carrier is super easy to put on!

*There are twelve stylish patterns to choose from, including four organic carriers made of hemp /organic cotton fabrics. They are so stylish that celebs like Julia Roberts, Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba, Nicole Kidman among others carry their mini me's in them!  Check them out here!
*With this carrier there is nothing between you and the baby.  You and your sweet little angel will be more comforted and happier.  Studies have shown that babies who are carrier are happier and cry less with an easier transition into the world-sort of like a 4th trimester!
*Belle Baby Carriers are made in the US-how cool is that?

The baby carrier can be used between 8-3Olbs.  Once I put Johnny it in, I was truly surprised with how comfortable it was. This carrier distributes your baby's weight to your hips and not your back like ALL of those other baby carriers I had previously owned.  Johnny was as happy as can be going around in it and we both loved the removable head support.  We both kept touching the fabric while walking around because it is one of the softest things I have ever felt.  Now, I only wish there was one big enough for someone to carry me in it!  One of the best baby products I will ever own!

*You can BUY one  here at Belle Baby Carriers!  They retail for $99.95 and worth every single penny

You can WIN it here:

1~MANDATORY~Head over to Belle Baby Carriers and tell us which carrier you would love to win! (1 entry)
2~Follow my blog (1 entry)
3~Follow me on twitter @blondeinablog (2 entries)
4~Follow @BelleCarrier on twitter (2 entries)
5~Tweet about this giveaway using @blondeinablog and @BelleCarrier-you may tweet up to 2 times a day (2 entries a tweet)
6~Repost this giveaway on your blog or as your status update on facebook (5 entries)